I hate to complain but I do have some things I need to get off my chest. Like a 300 pound girlfriend I have to get them off my chest so I can breathe.
OK, here goes...
1. People who give me fake phone numbers. I'm always meeting cute girls like at the food court in the mall. First I go up and ask them if they have a salt packet I can borrow.
Then I can't think of anything to say so I just stand there and stare at them. Then I ask them for their phone number and they always give me one. Then when I call them later it's always the wrong number or disconnected. I hate that. How am I gonna practice my heavy breathing if they don't give me the right number? It's rude!
2. People who think they are smarter than me. Are you listening Judge Judy?
Just because my Pit Bull bit that guy on the leg it was not my fault. I had him on a leash and the leash broke. Blame the leash company.
Also the guy was teasing my dog. He was riding his bike on the other side of the street and he probably knows my dog would not like that. He lured my dog over by acting like he was scared and screaming.
Well I should not have had to pay all those hospital bills. What about Obama care? Plus I did not appreciate you saying my Mom probably thought I was cute. She does not. She says I look like Abraham Lincoln.
These are just some of the things I did not get to say on TV and it was upsetting. I thought we had freedom of religion but I guess I was wrong.
3. I hate rude drivers. You know how you stop and let somebody turn in front of you and they don't even wave or smile? When they do that to me, I always scream, YOUR WELCOME JACK---! as loud as I can.
Maybe that will teach them to be more polite.
4. People who cut you off are another thing that steams my keister. I had a guy cut right in front of me and I got so mad I gave him an extra long beeeeep and shot him a you-know-what. He actually stopped his hover round, looked at me and shook his head and then kept going all the way across the crosswalk. I just can't believe how people can be so rude. I sped home and got under the covers with a bottle of brandy and some superman comics.
If you have a pet peeve leave a comment...
From Oddwally.com
